MC's story

Experience of a being a “dragee” (the reluctant one) Going to my first AME week-end I was very much the reluctant partner! My husband was keen to attend that first week-end and to show willing I agreed to “give it a try”. We were only 3 couples plus the leader couple; plenty of room to be listened to but also to feel quite exposed. Hugh and Rachel, the leader couple, started by talking of their experiences in communicating and then demonstrated how they let each other know what they found difficult or irritating in his/her behaviour in daily life without nagging and in taking responsibility for how each one felt about it. The leader couple used the same process to value each other, Hugh let Rachel know what she had done that made him feel good and valued and then she did the same with him.

During the week-end we explored a little bit the family/upbringing models each of us carry as luggage that influences our behaviour in our couple relationship. We also did some self exploration using various tools such as drawing. At no time did I feel pushed beyond where I wanted to go. As the week-end progressed I was feeling supported and listened to by the leader couple, by the other two participating couples but above all by my partner. Best of all I was able to say to Geoff in our reflection time, alone as a couple, things that had remain unsaid building up resentment and he was able to do the same. We became aware of hurts we were causing without meaning to and we found a way to talk honestly about our differences. We also got feedback on the daily things we did that were appreciated by our partner.

Much was started during that first week-end and it was the beginning of a 25 year link with AME, making our relationship stronger, more fulfilling than it would have been and making each of us a better, more aware person.

M-C