Focus on Couples


Website of the Association for Marriage Enrichment Reg Charity No 327606

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Where are our events held?
We use a variety of venues: sometimes private houses, sometimes church premises, and sometimes retreat centres of various kinds. Our objective is always to provide comfortable and friendly surroundings where couples can relax and feel at home. Some events are run for couples from a given locality (eg all members of the same church), in which case they would go home at night. Other events are aimed at the broader community, and there would either be on-site accommodation provided, or there would be convenient B&B facilities nearby. Return to FAQ index

How much do events cost?
We try to keep costs to a minimum, consistent with a reasonable standard of accommodation and catering. Our leader couples are all volunteers and are only reimbursed for their expenses. In addition to the cost of accommodation and food, AME levies a charge to cover the Leaders' costs (which will depend on the location) and a small amount for its own funds. The total cost for a residential weekend will therefore be around £230 per couple. Non- residential weekends obviously cost a lot less - approximately £60 per couple. Return to FAQ index

Suppose my partner doesn't want to come?
All our events are for couples, and they are always led by a couple. Quite often one partner is less keen to come than the other, but by the end of the event they usually become just as enthusiastic as everyone else, and they go away feeling that the event has been worthwhile. Return to FAQ index

Is there a religious basis?
Many (but not all) of our leaders are Christian, and their work for AME is underpinned by their faith. Nevertheless there is no "second agenda" to our events, and they are equally accessible to couples of any faith, or none. Return to FAQ index

Do we have to be married?
No, but we expect couples to be totally committed to their relationship, to the extent that the relationship is effectively a marriage Return to FAQ index

How often are events held?
Currently we run about four First Stage events each year, in various parts of the country. There are also a number of locally-arranged follow-on events and support groups. Second- and third-stage events are also arranged according to demand. Return to FAQ index

How do I tell my friends I am going to a Marriage Enrichment event, without them thinking our marriage is in trouble?
There is currently a culture of secrecy around the marriage relationship that makes it difficult, even for a couple with a good relationship, to talk openly about it. The result is that it is often not before a marriage has got into serious difficulties that the partners start to look for help. By which time it is often too late. But all relationships have room for improvement and growth, even the apparently good ones! Our events are designed to make good relationships better, as well as to give some life-saving tools to couples who are in difficulties. Return to FAQ index

How much do we have to share with others?
Nothing, if you don't want to. All the work and exercises are done in private with your partner and there is no pressure on you to share anything. Any matters which are revealed will be treated in strictest confidence. Return to FAQ index

What qualifications do the Leader Couples have?
All our leader couples go through a careful course of training, and are skilled in the various techniques that they demonstrate. Attendees at events fill in assessment forms, which are used by our external Accreditation Committee to ensure that our leaders maintain a continuing quality standard. At least one partner in each Leader Couple will have counselling skills, although our events are intended to be educational rather than counselling as such. Return to FAQ index

What sort of things happen at an event?
The atmosphere will be warm, and friendly, with the chance to share within the group if you want to. We use many different activities to help you develop new skills, and each one is designed to bring out, in a relaxed way, a particular aspect of your relationship. For example, you will discover ways of valuing your own and your partner's particular strengths and recognising your partner's needs. There are also sessions designed to teach new ways of communicating, while others explore the nature of anger and develop creative ways of dealing with it. With a little practice most couples find these new skills lead to a deeper understanding of each other and to a better and more satisfying way of living together. Return to FAQ index

What happens afterwards?
Normally a couple's first Marriage Enrichment activity will be attendance at a "First Stage" event. After this there are opportunities to come to Second and Third Stage events. At these events, couples are encouraged to deepen the skills they have already learnt at their First Stage event, and to explore the effect that their respective families of origin have had on the relationship. Sexuality is also explored in greater depth. In addition to the Second and Third Stage events, there are a number of locally arranged follow-on and support groups in various parts of the country. These hold one-day and evening activities in a variety of formats. Return to FAQ index

How will I find out about further activities?
Couples who attend a First Stage event will then be invited to join the Association, for which there is an annual subscription of £20 (payable under Gift Aid). In addition to helping finance the work of AME, members receive a regular Newsletter which contains articles, exercises, and a diary of future events. Some events are also announced on this Website. Return to FAQ index